Puppu & Dad

PApPU Ka BAaP USA se LaUTa 
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Baap :- teri maa kaha hai ??
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Pappu :- padosi ke sath bhag gayi.
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Baap:- tune muje bataya kyu nahi Nalayak ??
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Pappu:- socha surprize de du ... 

MUNNA CIRCUIT

Munna: Kya kar rela hai circuit?
Circuit: Bhai bulb pe baap ka naam likh rela hu
Munna: Kyun!
Circuit: Bhai, baap ka naam roshan karne ka he na.

Munna: Ae Circuit ye Dr. log opration se pehle
patient ko behosh kyun karte hai?
Circuit: Bhai! Bole to patient opration sikh gaya
to Dr. Logo ki to wat lag jayegi na.

Circuit: Bhai, apun ne kal Sania Mirza se phone pe baat ki.
Munna bhai: Arre wah, kya kaha usne.
Circuit: Usne kaha, Mamu wrong number!!

Munna Bhai: Apna Desh kaun chala raha hai?
Cirkit: Bhai SMS
Munna Bhai: Kya bakta hai?
Cirkit: Bhai, SMS bole toh
S=SARDAR
M=MANMOHAN
S=SINGH


Munna: ye Gandhi Bapu
har note me haste hi
kyu rehte hei ??

Circuit: Simple hai
BHAI, Royenge to note
geeela ho jayenga na.

Circuit- Bhai, Aamerican Rastrapati Kaha Rehta He?
Munaa- DHOBIGHAT Pe
Circuit- Dhobighat Bole To?
Munaa- English Me Bole To
“WASHING TOWN"

Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to
gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?

Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us
time ke salmaan khan thay!!

Biscuit Compitition

Girl : Have a Good Day!

Boy : No thank you

Girl : what??

Boy : I like Parle-G more.....

Best Jokes Ever

Santa and Banta were playing chess
(joke doesn't end here).
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Santa:
Chal yaar bas karte hain, pak raha hai.

Banta:
Haan yaar, waise bhi tera sirf haathi bacha hai,
aur mera sirf ghoda..!

( The joke doesn't end here either )
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Phir waha Vishwanath anand aata hai...

Vishy:
Chalo Santa-Banta, chess khelate hai.

Santa-Banta:
Nahi, aap to hume aasanise hara doge.

Vishy:
Chalo yaar. Tum dono aur me akela.

Santa-Banta:
Phir bhi hum haar jayenge

Vishy:
Okay, mai left hand se khelunga...

Santa-Banta:
Haan. Phir thik hai.

The joke still doesn't end.

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Dono obviously haar jate hai aur Vishy chala jata hai.

Santa:
Badi sharmanaak baat hai yaar.
Left hand se bhi hara diya usne.

Banta:
Abe bewkoof bana gaya woh hume.

Santa:
Kaise?

Banta:
Saala lefty hi hoga...!

Girls nd Petrol

PETROL Ke Daam Ladkiyon Ki Tarah
Hote Hai...?
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Pata Chal Jaye Ki Aap Uske Bina Reh
Nahi Sakte,
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To Unke Bhav Badhte Hi Jate
Hai
Agree boys?

Wifi matter

Aik ladki roz jab college se ghar ati to

1ladke ko apne ghar k bahar khada dekhti...

Aisa roz hota tha, even pura 1 saal beet gaya..

aur wo ladka roz us ko apne ghar k samne nazar aata..

Wo kuch nahi kehta tha bas chup chaap

kabhi agey pechay aur kabhi apne mobile phone ko dekhta..

Ladki ko yaqeen hone laga k ladka usko chahta hai..

ek din ladki ne himmat kar k us k pas ja k poch lia k

tum roz aise mere ghar k bahar kyu khade hote ho ??

Ladka ghabra gaya aur foran bola :

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Maaf karna bahen actually tumhare wifi pe

password nahi laga hua wo use karne aata hun....

Wifi matter

Aik ladki roz jab college se ghar ati to

1ladke ko apne ghar k bahar khada dekhti...

Aisa roz hota tha, even pura 1 saal beet gaya..

aur wo ladka roz us ko apne ghar k samne nazar aata..

Wo kuch nahi kehta tha bas chup chaap

kabhi agey pechay aur kabhi apne mobile phone ko dekhta..

Ladki ko yaqeen hone laga k ladka usko chahta hai..

ek din ladki ne himmat kar k us k pas ja k poch lia k

tum roz aise mere ghar k bahar kyu khade hote ho ??

Ladka ghabra gaya aur foran bola :

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Maaf karna bahen actually tumhare wifi pe

password nahi laga hua wo use karne aata hun....

Clever Student

A student was asked 2 write a signboard

for the traffic rules near da college campus

He wrote :

Drive Carefully !!

Don't kill the students,

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wait for the Teachers..!

Dost toh dost hi hote hai..

Bhagwan ne mujhse kaha ki Tu apna 1 pyara dost chhod de main tujhe "mobile" dunga..

2 ko chhod de to "Rolex" ki ghadi dunga..

5 ko chhod de "25 lakh Rupaiya" dunga..

Aur Sabhi dosto ko chhod de to "Ferrari" dunga..
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Maine Bhagwan ko dekha aur kaha ki,

Hey Bhagwan..!!!
Ye dost wo hai jinhone meri har khushi har gam me sath diya..

Mere bachpan se lekar aaj tak mere sath rahe..

Kabhi main roya to apne hatho se mere ansu pochhe..

Ek glass pani bhi piya to bhi mere sath share kiya..

Meri ek awaz par daude chale aaye..

Aur aap kehte ho ki me ek "FERRARI" ke liye inhe chhod du..???

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KHAIR, Koi baat nahi..

Cid to Santa

Cid : Why Criminals Leave Their Finger Prints After Their Crime ?

Santa : Sir, Criminals Are Uneducated ,

if They Are Educated,

They Would Leave Their Signature...

Bacha to Bacha

3 bachon wali ek Vidwa aurat ne 3 bachon k baap se shaadi ki..

shadi k baad dono ke phir 3 bachay ho gaye...

1 din ghar may bachon ki zabardast jang ho gai...

biwi ne husband ko phone kiya : 

jaldi ghar aajao apke bachhe aur mere bachche mil kar hamare bachcho ko maar rahe hain

Generation Effect... (HIndi)

Ek bachha ro raha tha,

to uski mummy boli : kyun ro raha hai mera lal,

kya chahiye.. ??

Toffy.. ??

Biscuit.. ??

Cake.. ??

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Beta : Bas ek sanam chahiye

Aaashiqui ke liye...

Parrot & Santa

Outside a parrot's cage in a zoo on a board it's written :

Parrot can speak in English, Hindi and Punjabi...

Santa decided to check this out...

He asked the parrot : Who r u ?

Parrot : I'm a parrot.

Santa (in Hindi) : Tum kaun ho ?

Parrot : Main ek tota hun...

Santa (this time in Punjabi) : Tussi kaun O ?

Parrot : Teri Maa Da Yaar...

Tenu ek vari samajh nahi Aundi...

Tu khota te main tota..!!

Biggest jokes on Doctore (Old but ever green )

Doctor : Agar aap patient ko ek ghante pehle le aate to hum ise bacha sakte the !!!

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Relative of patient : EK ghante pehle kya ghanta le aate,

accident to sala 20 min pehle hua hai..!

Biggest jokes on Doctore (Old but ever green )

Doctor : Agar aap patient ko ek ghante pehle le aate to hum ise bacha sakte the !!!

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Relative of patient : EK ghante pehle kya ghanta le aate,

accident to sala 20 min pehle hua hai..!

MURGA TO MURGI.

Murga- I love u jaan.

main tumhare liye kuch bhi kar sakta hoon,
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MURGI : Kya sachchi,
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MURGA : haan
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MURGI : chal phir aaj anda tu de...

Boy to girl (Hindi)

Boy : Tum to meri Chand ho jaanu.

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Girl : Aur tum mere Edwin Aldrin.

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Boy : Matlab ?

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Girl : Chaand par Chadhnewala Doosra Aadmi!

Photo Grapher Husband

Biwi, Ek Dum Khush Hoke : Kya Baat Hai Jee, 

Aaj To Meri Photo-Pe-Photo kheenche Ja Rahe Ho ?

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Santa : Kuchh Nahi Pagli,

Aaj Mere Sarr pe Wild Life

Photography ka Bhoot Sawaar Hai..!

Chhote - Bade on FB

Chhote : Kya be, kab se upar dekh raha hai

Bade : Birds ko dekh raha hoon, unki life kitni mast hai na…

Chhote : wo kaise ?

Bade : arey wo udd sakte hain na… kitni mast life hai

Chhote : to isme kya hua, aadmi bhi udd sakte hain

Bade : abe chal, aadmi kaise udd sakte hain

Chhote : udte hain.. tujhe uddna hai ?

Bade : wo kaise ?

Chhote : Road pe khada ho ja, abhi truck ayega aur tujhe udaa dega… hahaha !

Bade : Abe Bakwas band kar...!!

Please Read Carefully

Dear boys...
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If you fail in love,
Don't end your life.
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Because..
she might get another guy,
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but your parents won't get a
son like you..!!

Puppu as Dabang (hindi)

Sir : Pappu tumhare sare ans galat hai,

marks de to kahan..

Pappu : KAMAL KARTE HO MASTER JI,

MARKS HI TO MANG RAHE HAI,

CHUP CHAP DE DO WARNA

THAPPAD MAR KE B LE SAKTE HAI.

Sir : Badtameez...

kya bak rha hai..?

Pappu : BADTAMIZ SE YAAD AYA MASTER JI,

AAPKE PAPA KAISE HAI..??

Sir : Gadhe,nikal ja class se!

Pappu : CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO MASTER JI,

WARNA ANS PAPER ME ITNE CHHEDKARENGE,

KI CONFUSE HO JAOGE KI MARKS KAHA DE AUR ZEro kaha de !!!

3 Rishtey 3 waqt par hi pehchane jate hai

1 - Aulaad : Budhapey mein

2 - Dost : Musibat mein,

or 

3 - Girlfriend : Thand mein...

Superb poem

Ek bachpan ka 
zamana tha, 

jisme khushiyon ka 
khazana tha; 

chahat chand ko 
paane ki thi, 

par dil titli ka
deewana tha.

Khabar na thi
kuch subah ki,

na shaam ka
thikana tha;

thak haarke aana school se, par khelne bhi jaana tha.

Maa ki kahani thi,
pariyon ka fasana tha;
barish mein kagaz ki naav thi, har mausam suhana tha.

Har khel mein saathi the,
har rishta nibhana tha;
gum ki zuban na hoti thi,
na zakhmon ka paimana tha.

Rone ki wajah na thi,
na hansne ka bahana tha; kyon ho gaye hum itne bade, isse achha to
woh bachpan ka zamana tha...

Intelligent Boy (Hindi)

Girl To Boy:"Jaanu main apna purse
ghar pe bhool
aayi.. :((

Mujhe Rs.1000 ki zarurat hai plz de
doge
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Boy:"kar di na chhoti baat, pagli ye
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Rs.10 , Riksha kar ke purse le aa..

Emotional Jokes

Ghar ki bani desi ghee ki mithai or
parathe lekar
Ma-Baap college me padh rahe
bete se milne gaye..

Unhe saade kapdo me dekh k 1
ladki ne pucha
"who r they.?"

Ladke ne kaha
"They r d servants from my village"

Ma-Baap ki aankho me khushi k
aansu aa gaye..
Humara beta aab angreji bolne
laga he . :-|

No love is same as No Ball

Loving someone who does not love you is like batting when you need 37 runs in 6 balls. You know its impossible….but you still have a small hope that ishant sharma will bowl the last over

Papu (Indian)

Papu ne numbr dial kia..wrong numbr lag gya..
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Papu-hello, kon?
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Girl-meh sita..Aap kon?
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Papu-oh teri ! Galti se ayodhya phone lg gya..sorry mate sorry!!

Boy Vs Conductor (Hindi Jokes)

Ek boy roz bus k darvaze mein
khada hoke traval karta hein.

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Bus conductor : tu roz darvaze mein
kadha rehta hein,
Tera baap kahin pe choukidar hein
kya?
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Boy replies : tu roz paise mangta
hein to, tera baap pehle bhikari
tha kya…!

Funny Incidence

Father – Beta Zara Apna Mobile Dena 1 min 
Son – 1 Minute ON Kar Dun !! 
Delete Videos
Delete photos
Delete Calls
Delete Messages
Ye Lo Dad ON Ho Gaya Start !
Dad – Arrey Nahi Bas Time Bata De ! 

Nurse and Patents

Nurse to patient with bleeding head: Your name?

Patient: Raju

Nurse: What’s your Birthdate?

Patient : 01 Feb

Nurse : Are you Married?

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Patient : No no , it was a car accident

Boy and Angel Funny Indian Jokes Hindi

Raju :”Maa apne mujhe jhut kyo bola ???
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Maa :”Kab ???
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Raju :”Aap ne kaha tha tumhari choti behen pari
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Maa :”Haan wo hai
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Raju :”To jab mene use balcony se phenka to wo
udi kyo nhi

Doctors vs teacher hindi (Indian jokes)

10 Doctor aur 1 teacher helicopter ki rassi se
latke the.

Ek Pailot ne kaha, vajan jyada hai koi 1 Aadmi rasi chood de.. varna sab giroge..

Teacher bola ye kurbani main dunga.

TALIYAN bajaiye

Aur sare Doctor taali bajane lage aur Vajan kam
ho gaya

Moral of the story :- chahe Doctor ban jao par
guru hamesa guru hi hota hai.

Hindi Funny Joke

Ek Shaitani Chudeil ne Buzurg pati Patni ko
Pakad liya..
Chudeil:” Mai Tum Dono ki Ek-Ek khwaish Poori
kar sakti hu
Patni:” Mujhe apne Pati k Saath Duniya
Ghumni hai
Chudeil ne chaddi Ghumayi aur Wolrd Tour ki Do
Ticket aa gayi
Chudeil ne Pati se poocha:” tumhe kya chahiye ??
Pati:” Mujhe apne se 30 saal choti patni chahiye
Chudeil ne Chaddi Ghumayi aur Pati ko 90 Saal
ka kar Diya..
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To Kya seekha sabne is Kahani se..???
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“Aadmi ko Yaad Rakhna chahiye ke Aakhir
Chudiel bhito Ek Aurat hi hai…

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy